Discussing pet euthanasia with children has always been a challenge for veterinary professionals. It’s a bit unnerving to describe what’s about to take place to a young mind who may not be able to comprehend what’s happening in front of them. Most of the time, we are unclear about how much the parent/guardian has told the child about euthanasia, and what the child expects to happen. Children will have many different thoughts and feelings on the matter, and much of it will remain a mystery to us. The best we can do is guide them through the procedure, be honest and clear, all while inviting them to engage and grieve as they see fit.

Pet euthanasia is achieved by a few methods, which the veterinarian will decide to use based on the pet’s signalment (e.g. breed, weight, age, health). The most common euthanasia method for companion pets like dogs and cats is the administration of the euthanasia solution pentobarbital. Pentobarbital is an anesthetic that is easily overdosed to achieve death in animal patients, and it’s used around the world in many countries. Other euthanasia drugs/solutions include potassium chloride, magnesium sulfate, T-61, and lidocaine, and there are quite a few others. Euthanasia “drugs” as we know them are often “solutions” because they are mixed into liquid, with or without other “agents” to make them more effective. These different terms are a bit confusing and can make it challenging to know what to call euthanasia drugs when children are listening.

There is much to unpack when it comes to how children process death, including how they conceptualize it, find reason and meaning, and apply it to their own lives. Their understanding of death appears to be a combination of biological reasoning mixed with what they see through media sources and told about in their culture. (1) According to many experts, by the age of 6, children appear to have a fairly sophisticated understanding of death, probably more than we realize. During pet euthanasia, we will have children of all ages present and therefore must cater to their needs as best we can.

I, like many of you, have had children in the room when I euthanized their pet. My mission has always been to keep things simple and straightforward; to reduce complications that come from using tricky words and phrases they won’t understand. We already know that using euphemisms for death (e.g. put to sleep, pass away, put down, go to heaven) can lead to wild misinterpretations of what euthanasia is. (2) This tells us that in order to help children comprehend what is going on, honesty is going to be the best policy. 

For years, I’ve been asked to share the language I like to use during euthanasias, when adults and children present. To give some context, veterinary professionals will need to describe what’s going to take place during euthanasia so pet owners are prepared. I might say something similar to the following when working with a cat named Sparticus:

• “Now that we’ve decided we will be moving forward with euthanasia, I’d like to describe how we’ll be helping Sparticus.”
• “First I’m going to give him a medicine to help him to sleep.” 
• “Once Sparticus is in a deep sleep, a second medicine will be given to help him to pass(die).”
• “You are invited to be here with him every step of the way.” 

When children are in the room, I add a clarifying statement. “I’m going to give Sparticus a medicine…a medicine we only give to our animals, never people…to help him sleep. Once he’s sleeping, I’m going to give a second medicine…again, a medicine we only give to our animals, never people…to help him to die. That is why I’m here, to help him to die because he is already dying on his own.” I speak slowly and make plenty of eye contact around the room.

Recently while speaking at a veterinary conference in Tacoma, Washington, a veterinarian asked me what I call euthanasia solution and if I change the wording when kids are in the room. It was a good question and I’m glad he brought it up. As you have read already, my default word to describe the euthanasia drug is “medicine”. This veterinarian shared that the word he likes to use is “poison”, and his rationale was that poison is something we want children to stay away from, and if this word reinforces the danger of death from ingesting a poison in the future, it’s justified. I can see the logic in this, but is the word poison too harsh in a gentle euthanasia setting? 

To learn what other colleagues use to describe the euthanasia drug to children, I asked around. Here are the words that came up most often, listed in order from most common to least.

• Medicine
• Solution
• Drug
• Injection
• Chemical
• Liquid
• Poison

The intent is to use CAETA’s version of the KISS method (keep it super simple) without complicating a child’s future interaction with these words. In an effort to keep language gentle yet honest, the options I like the least are “chemical” and “poison” but none of them are necessarily wrong. My suggestion is to try them out here and there to see what kind of response you get from both adults and children. And all terms should beg the question, is there another term we should be using that is even better? Perhaps the topic is a good one to research and hopefully CAETA can get around to it in the near future.

For now, whatever words veterinary professionals use to describe the pet euthanasia process/drugs, empathy and a soothing tone of voice generate the biggest impact. We need to go slow, establish rapport, build trust, and answer their questions. That’s the secret recipe to help children have the space they need to understand the reality and significance of the moment.

References

1. Menendez, D. et al. (2020) Children’s Emerging Understanding of Death. Child development perspectives. [Online] 14 (1), 55–60.
2. Holder, R.W., (2008) Dictionary of euphemisms. Oxford University Press, USA.